Starting nursery is a big change for a child and for the adults who love them. There is no standard timetable for how long it takes a child to settle, because children differ in age, temperament and previous experience of being away from home. This guide covers what the rules guarantee, what settings usually offer, and practical steps that help.
What the rules guarantee
The EYFS requires every child in a nursery, pre-school or childminder’s care to be assigned a key person. Their role is to make sure the child’s care is tailored to their individual needs, help the child become familiar with the setting, offer a settled relationship, and build a relationship with parents and carers. Ofsted’s inspection toolkit looks specifically at whether key persons build warm, trusting relationships so that babies and children can form secure attachments.
Providers must also share information with parents, including the name of the child’s key person and their role, the daily routines, how staff are organised, what food is provided, and an emergency contact number. At the age of two, staff must give parents a short written summary of the child’s development.
Beyond that, settling-in arrangements are up to each setting. There is no legal requirement for a particular number of visits.
What settings commonly offer
Practice varies, so ask what a setting does. Many offer some combination of:
- a visit with you before the start date, to see the rooms and meet the key person
- one or more short stay-and-play or settling-in sessions, sometimes with a parent present at first
- a gradual build-up of hours over the first days or weeks, before the full pattern begins
- a daily update on food, sleep, nappies and mood, in person, on paper or through an app
Ask whether settling-in sessions are charged, because policies differ. Also ask what happens to your funded hours during settling in, since funded hours start at the beginning of a term. Funded hours start on 1 January, 1 April or 1 September. If you want a gentler start, ask the provider about starting before the term the funded hours begin, and what that costs.
Planning the timing
- Allow time before you return to work. If you can, start settling in a few weeks before your first day back, so you are not leaving your child for the first time on the day you start a job. This is a practical choice rather than a rule.
- Check the Universal Credit rules. If you claim Universal Credit, GOV.UK says you may be able to claim back childcare costs for a “settling-in period” before you start work.
- Do not wait for the funded start date to look. Popular settings can have waiting lists, so visit early. See choosing a nursery.
Helping your child settle
None of these guarantees an easy start, but they are common practice:
- Share information. Tell staff about routines, comforters, allergies, favourite songs, words your child uses, and anything that upsets them.
- Keep goodbyes brief and consistent. A short, calm goodbye is usually easier than a long one. Many settings suggest you do not sneak away.
- Bring something familiar. A comforter, blanket or family photo can help, if the setting allows it.
- Keep the routine at home steady during the first weeks.
- Stay in touch with the key person. Ask how the day went and how they would like you to handle the next one.
- Be ready for ups and downs. Children can seem settled then have a hard week, for example after a holiday or a cold.
When it is not going well
Talk to the key person first, and then the manager. Ask what they have noticed, what has helped, and what could be changed. If the setting responds with ideas and clear communication, give it time. If your concerns are about care or safety, rather than ordinary upset at separation, use the setting’s complaints procedure, which must be in writing. Written complaints about the EYFS must be investigated and the outcome given to you within 28 days. If you are still not satisfied, you can complain to Ofsted. See how to check a nursery.
Questions
How long does it take a child to settle into nursery?
It varies. Some children settle within days and others need weeks, and it can change with age and illness. There is no official time frame, so ask the setting what it expects and watch for signs your child is getting more comfortable, such as eating, sleeping and playing more easily.
Should I stay with my child at first?
Many settings invite a parent to stay for the first session or to be nearby. Ask what the setting recommends, and agree a plan with the key person.
Will my funded hours cover settling-in sessions?
Funded hours start at the beginning of the term after your child becomes eligible. Any sessions before that are likely to be charged at the provider’s normal rate unless they say otherwise, so ask in advance.
What if my child is distressed every day?
Some distress at separation is common. If it continues or is getting worse, or your child seems unhappy about the setting itself, discuss it with the key person and manager. See questions to ask a nursery.